This morning I decided to go for a long long walk, in the dark, at 5am, jut to creep out our neighbors. Right. I heard my breathe getting faster and my legs started moving in a quick rhythm as I paced up and down the neighborhood streets, and since there were no distractions to watch since the sun had not woken up yet, I began to pray.

God, I have so much I want to ask you. So much. And since I’m here with all this time and you’re here with all of eternity, can we talk? There are things I want to ask you for, requests I want to make, places I want to go, people I want to reach and visit with and talk to, and greater things in this world that I want to do. But regardless of all of the things I want to ask you, I’m going to use this quiet 40 minutes to listen, Lord. What do you need me to do for you today? This week? This year? In my lifetime? Lord, I’m listening and the answer is yes. What is it? 

I don’t ask that question often, but when I do, it’s amazing all of the things I learn. It was quiet for about a minute. I was trying with everything in me not to fill my mind with my own responses, thoughts, and feelings, which is hard when all you hear is your own breathe and footsteps and nothing else. But after some waiting, he started to speak to me, as he always does, in his still, small voice. Very small and very still. I have to listen so so carefully, which I’m sure is why I miss him so much of the time in this loud, fast life of mine.

I can’t tell you what he said, because it’s so personal to me that I can’t even begin to describe all the ways deep down that it touched me in places that no other human will ever understand. Do you feel so close to God’s heart sometimes that all of your inner thoughts feel completely understood at his one word in a single second? His sentence actually speaks a novel to you? That’s what I’m talking about.

I got home at the end of this wonderful walk, so unexpected and yet it felt so planned by him in the end. And all I know is that God promised me this morning that he was going to send rain in it’s season. Right now all I need to do is water and plant, but in his time, he will send a flood so big, with so much rain, that I won’t even know how to manage all of the overflow of water . I can’t wait for that day, but I’m following instructions carefully, and that day is not today. Today he needs me to remain in him. That’s it. Just remain, and listen to his voice, and be available for what he needs when he needs it. Can it be that simple? Oh but it is. He gave me this one small thing to do…to get close to him, more near to his heart, to pray more, learn more, feel deeper, and grow the heart and soul he’s already entrusted to me. Maybe after I prove good management with that, then I might, maybe, be ready for what he has next. Honestly I’m sure I’ll never be ready for that much rain, but I can’t expect him to move until I do. 

This year I’m going to focus on planting and watering the things that are alive in my heart, because God asked me to. And I always think it’s wise to listen to someone who made me.