I’m finishing up week 2 of the fast our book club has been reading about together in Jen Hatmaker’s book from my previous post, and this week we tackled clothes. We all wore seven things, all week, and that’s it. The purpose isn’t actually to torture yourself, but to take a good, hard, strenuous look at what you have. What you own. And then hey, what you actually need. Which, come to find out, isn’t all that much.

This week I wore: 1 pair of jeans, 1 pair of black pajama pants, 2 t-shirts, 1 white sweater, 1 hoodie, and my shoes (2 pairs which I counted as 1 thing-brown sandals and black tennis shoes, since the Lord knows I have to have options for that variety of outfits).  I also added 1 wedding dress outfit for my cousin’s wedding on Saturday that was not included in my 7.

Do you know how long it took me to decide on those 7 things? Ridiculous and embarrassing to admit. Oh how about over an hour. AN HOUR. Oh please! If that’s not a first world problem I don’t know what is. I was sitting there contemplating this purple hoodie I had picked out, and thinking of switching it to a gray sweater, because it didn’t match my t-shirts completely, but I didn’t want to compromise my 2 t-shirts since they were my favorite, or this fantastic purple hoodie, because despite the color I don’t actually love, it’s the most comfortable thing I own. Oh brother. So, I decided I would be ok with not matching for 7 days, which I can’t believe (eye roll). Again, seriously ungrateful. UN-GRATEFUL.

So guess what else? I counted all of the items in my closet. Do you know how many clothing “things” I have? This includes shirts, pants, t-shirts, sweaters, coats, jackets, undershirts, shoes, belts, scarves, purses, and hats. Oh just guess. 258. Let’s just say I spent $20 each on those things. Some were more, some were less. That’s almost $5K, just on myself. Let’s just stop right there, shall we?

This week has changed me. Really it has.

I was at my cousin’s wedding on Saturday and was wearing my dress, shoes, and necklace that I had not worn all week but put on for the wedding. We were leaving the festivities to come home after the wedding and my little niece, Audrey, who is two, grabbed my necklace and wanted to play with it or have it, I’m not sure. So I took it off and gave it to her. I love that necklace, but I don’t need it. I wanted her to have it, because I love her and that’s just what aunts do sometimes. How fun! But, it also sinks a little deeper in my heart. This week was about not holding onto things so closely, and I was ok, by day 4, to take off something I loved enough to wear to a wedding, and give it to my niece, because I loved giving it away more. I think God is changing my heart. It’s catching on. Thank you Lord, continue to break me, and then build me up again, so I can completely and wholly serve your kingdom.

Show me my flaws, teach me your ways, and give me your strength, to chart new waters, and end this race stronger than I started. Naked I came into this world, and I’ll leave the same way. Help me spend my time and money on things that matter. I trust that you’re right about this clothes thing, just like you’re right about everything else. We cannot serve both God and money (aka “pretty things). I’ll find a way to overcome this possession monster. The inner workings of my heart will be much more beautiful this way.